A leaf from my college life!

How I got famous in a day... A leaf from my college days!

Aug 17 1998, I was in GCT, Coimbatore in the hostel campus after completing all the admission formalities. My first day! I had absolutely no idea of what I was into. I was kind of blank. I did my 12th standard with unwavering determination to achieve something and not this college or degree [Not that I didn't want this, but thought I wouldn't get this] - My aim was to become a Maths tuition teacher and make a living out of that. However, my scores landed me here. With no imagination of my first day there, I was quite open to things and my priority was to get acclimatized there as soon as possible. To kick the unknown factors out soon of my mind.
I happened to know a senior there through my friend. Her name was Kalyani. My first socializing move happened through her. I was being introduced to the sophomores (second year) by Kalyani. As they enquired about me, I returned the gesture.

That's it! Like wild fire, my name was being spread for controversies among my own hostel mates and seniors.
This was why they were looking for me - "Who is Abirami? There is one girl who has come from Chennai and talking in ENGLISH. [And that was unpardonable then] Who is that girl who is asking questions back to seniors [like what is your name? where are you coming from?]? One half crack says 'Nice to meet you' to the seniors. Where is she?"

Terror! My fellow hostel mates were afraid to tell my name. They hadn't seen or interacted with me, just heard my name as I was the most wanted person. Know what? I was blissfully unaware of all these happenings.

With my unconventional but spontaneous behaviour though, I continued to become famous... Mostly related to ragging incidents.

For Chennai freshers, our train journey back home for holidays and vacation had always been a great adventure in itself. Soon after our first train journey, people were again looking for me 'Abirami interrupted the ragging session conducted earnestly by the final years in the train and said she wanted to go to sleep. No one has ever done that.'

This was very hard for me. Because, I couldn't instill any fear factor in me forcefully, especially for ragging. I continued to see the seniors as seniors. Nothing more than that. I found it extremely hard to keep my face stern and serious, when the ragging sessions were going on. Thankfully they were not harsh or abusive. It was jus meaningless. To put up a show as if I was terrified was so difficult, it was like I could burst into laughter anytime...

Anyways, years rolled by fast! and soon I became a mother... Wait wait... lots of things happened in between... Long living friendships, degree, job, falling in love (haven't gotten up yet), marriage, child and don't know what's next...

Hell with my view!

Your view or My view:

Views, opinions, judgements are all over the place… Except devils and dogs, I think everyone is all the time making comments about almost everything.

I got into a heated discussion with my bro sometime last week about culture. Each of us was profusely abusing each other’s views and thoughts.

Suddenly a grappling thought occurred. Who the hell am I to pass a comment or judgement on something someone did. Do I know all the parameters with which they performed that action?

Take for example, ‘He shouldn’t have ditched that girl and married another girl’ How easily said? Now, do I know what agony he underwent before making such a decision, do I know what transpired between the couple, do I know how things were conspired against him? Or do I know how his planets and stars were lined up against him? ;-)

I might have known a few things but not everything, not in its entirety. So, why don’t I just shut up?!

Each one is unique and each situation is unique. Every moment is different. No two people can think or act the same way.

I think we should leave it to them to handle their doings or karma, instead of spraying frivolous comments on people and their decisions. Right or wrong is so subjective and we can argue on it forever.

Now, am I going to stop talking about MMS, MSD, Sonia Gandhi, Tirupathi Balaji (yeah… I mean Lord Venky) or Aleem Dar? Oh pls… I am not Lady Good or Lady Right!
But I think I will not meddle with anyone’s personal decision not until I am asked to.

Sorry Bro if I hurt your feelings. Yet, please don’t provoke me again and testify this article. Because I admit I am not yet Lady good or right. ;-)

Shopping and Sex

Shopping and Sex

I see a strong relationship, at the same time, a sharp contrast in these two acts... Have you made any guesses already?! :-) Whatever the answer is, pls read on...

Shopping - it is the most exciting thing that a bride looks forward to in a marriage function... Remember all the shopping plans, sarees, dresses, jewels, make up, etc etc. Certainly an exciting one!
Sex - What is this? Oh yeah... you got it right! this is for the groom. Not sure of the interest the guy shows in taking a black/gray blazer or maroon/half white kurta set! But definitely, he is 'on' for the first night!
These two are the things that keep male and female rejuvenated, energized, ever!

Don't gag...

I pause here for a moment in a pensive mood... and dare to write that men and women in a marriage are like two different species. They are asked and expected to lead/live life together 'padinaarum petru peru vaazhvu vaazhga' (may you live gloriously with all kind of richness (including love, laughter, kids etc) filled in your life)! Until the thread of love develops between these two species and binds them together, the above statement is a joke, isn't it?

Why I am taking a hit at marriage now? I am into this for the last 7 years! Is my marriage breaking down? :-)) Not definitely...

This is a dig at how marriages are conducted in our culture... In this modern era, where everything is decided by logic and nothing else, this eludes all logic and the expectation from society is absurd and ridiculous! Mind you, I am not talking about the ritual, but the mindset of all the people involved.

Sacred thread is tied in a minute, man and woman declared husband and wife effortlessly. Will the kissing (now the groom can kiss the bride!) or taking rounds around the sacred fire melt the ego and unite them? I doubt!

This is more true for arranged marriages. Whether the liking is developed between the two or not is not the question! "Horoscope and caste match so you live happily with the other half!" Things are changing nowadays and 'know each other' time is allotted by parents. Hope it is a fair process, saying 'no' is also allowed.

Finally, I am not sure of any solution neither have I any suggestions for a better marital life... Because amongst all these contrasts, differences between the partners, life goes on either willingly or unwillingly. There must be a few of us here who may feel 'this is not my case. I love my partner. I value and accept his/her opinions and differences. Shopping or sex? silly, we are beyond it. I know my partner very well'. Kudos and Congratulations to those fellas...

To the rest, I can only say 'You are not alone' :-)

Stoned and stunned!!!

It was reasonably dark. I returned from work early, compared to the guilt-filled late night hours. While I was entering my house gate, there was this usual street dog who resides in around our parking area... I ignore it and don't care to acknowledge it. Rather too busy even to glance her. There are four houses in the apartment... Through the day the dog would spend time inside, sometimes outside the gate. When she is out, someone needs to arrive at the gate, so that the gate will be opened. Today, when I returned, she was staying out. Casually, I just happened to look into her eyes! I was stoned and stunned... so much emotion overflowing. I asked her 'ammu kutti, would you like to stay inside dear'. First time I spoke to her I suppose... She replied very beautifully, 'she came behind me waging her tails gleefully' It kindled a different emotion in me.
There is so much of love all around us, in a leaf, a rock, a flower and more abundantly in animals too. But I suppose, we are going behind human beings to share it.

[No wonder Americans prefer Pets, to their spouses! They are already ahead of us... ]

I am not patronizing to have pets at home certainly. All I am conveying is that it becomes easy to respond to life around in a graceful way when you experience something like this! I don't think I will go, caress her, for I am forever afraid of that species. But my heart will beat for it!

Good bye my dear!

It's new year! I don't know if I should be writing something like this... I need a vent out. So this article is dedicated to me and me alone!

He was doing great, on top of the world I should say, just fine and healthy. He also had a care-taker. She was not OK though. The care-taker didn't even know he was there. It was like she alone was present and he was not there. This guy tried to differentiate his presence in several ways to her. She continued to ignore him, but not for long.

The day came when both he and she met each other. The next day, for various reasons, she sent him to another care-taker!

She bid a painful adieu to him with prayers that he would be happy, healthy and in good terms with his new care-taker. Because she knows there are plenty of people unlike her waiting for his arrival. He would be a happy person there. She has such strong positive vibes for him. Till her last breath, she would pray for his wellness.

Now he is gone away from her... She misses him dearly. Hope he has reached a person who can nurture him for 9 long months and bring him to this world as a strong healthy person. She is sure he would enter a space where he would bring loads of happiness to one and all.

This may sound crazy but she knows she will meet him one day! Until then, Good-bye my dear! and Good luck!

Make a Move and Now!

Aggressive or Competitive or Complacent - which is better?

As I write this article, there is only one thing that comes to my mind - Being at peace with yourself! Nah... certainly this is some kind of gyan I am trying to sell to anyone!

Of late, I came across a lot of people, with different kinds of worries, problems - most of them work related. As I question more and more into their problems, I saw only one root - Comparison!

It is like 'Why not I get a mother-in-law like her?, 'Why not I get a manager like him', or 'my age - but earning twice as me', 'saree exactly of the same design and color would be awesome' There is nothing wrong with it! Absolutely nothing!

Even my 3 year old is like that. 'Mom, I want the same ear ring as yours ;-)' She feels mine is better!

Money, success, position, health, better balanced family life - I think we got to understand one comes at a cost of another... How mean is our society or nature or whatever is responsible? Why not everyone have everything? Well, it is a useless question and I call it so, because I don't have an answer! :P

Now coming back to Comparison - whomever we compare with, one may have say more money, but not health... another one may have position, but not money etc etc... Most of us comfortably ignore what it has taken for a person to get where they are!

Oh yes! I hear you 'I know all of this and more' For those impatient folks, here comes the conclusion - If you think you don't have something may it be a better job, role, career, health or personal life (sorry, I don't include better spouses here - got to live with them anyway, because they have become necessary evils in our lives - Again there are exceptions and I hope exceptions are in great number :) :)), just move your ASS!!!!!

I mean MAKE A MOVE! Look for a better healthy diet, exercise, talk to your manager for a better role, look for a job change, see how you can spend quality time with your family, - To act on whatever you see is missing in your life! ACT NOW!!

Is the problem solved? not really... "I also act on my shortcomings, but my peer or neighbour is also acting fast and he also progresses at the same pace!" "What to do now? When will I become he or she?"

I am not writing anymore... Well, if I read this to my little "logic" princess at home, she will say, 'Ma, don't compare ma! I have mine, they have theirs' :)

Good luck folks!

I am hungry - Its Madrasapattinam review!

Its been quite some time since my last article. Now I am hungry to write... but write on what?!

Well... It is about the movie I just watched - "Madrasa pattinam" ... I don't know the director of the movie until the end. When I saw the name in the movie poster while I was leaving the theatre, I said "Way to go Vijay!" Brilliant movie. Generally I keep myself away from writing any reviews. I never felt like writing about any movie... But this one was too tempting!

I have not seen many movies where audience wouldn't want to leave the theatre. But today I witnessed, the audience were glued to their seats and their eye balls pinned to the screen, even after the movie ended! Probably, Back ground music score mesmerised us!

Three classic scenes, worth talking about...

1) Paridhi was falling in love with Amy... But language was a barrier. He couldn't utter a word in English... So, he makes all attempts to learn it. Just to say a few sentences like What is your name? How are you?. "Ah! I have learnt, let me talk to 'Durai amma'..."
So, they both meet in the middle of a river... In a desperate moment, he forgets, tries to recollect in bits and pieces of what he learnt! Amy quietly watches his stutters and replies 'marandhittiya?' and steals the hearts of everyone!!! A beautiful melody song follows...

2) This scene left me with goose bumps. Aug 15 1947 midnight, Freedom fighters were hoisting the flag, with great joy and pride! The same feeling, great joy and relief kind of spread and filled in me :) What a great moment it should have been... After many many decades of fight and slavery, we got back our mother land.

For a moment, I was asking this question to myself - Hard earned freedom, what have we done to this nation? Have we made justice to this blood shed freedom?! Hmm...

3) Now the final scene... When Granny Amy finds Paridhi! The final words she spoke holding the 'thaali' in her palm closed, 'Its mine, mine!'
Awesome!! Awesome!! You should watch it!

Overall, a fantastic movie with a brilliant screenplay and script!

Hats off to Vijay, Arya and Amy team!!!