Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Good touch... Bad touch!

This article is going to be one, which can leave a bad taste in your mind, you may want to carry a disgusting look at me... But never mind, I am penning it down!

I thought I was the only girl in this country rather in this world, to be sexually exploited when I was around 7 years of age... And this was a long buried secret in me for a very long time. Later, slowly I came to understand my friend, friend's friend, my next door aunt, sister, kids were also affected like me.

About seven years back, I was in a group of more than five hundred women and we were asked to share their deepest secret, which bothered or hurt us the most. I thought people would come up with life loss, near and dear lives lost. I was shocked, terrified when more and more ladies of different ages stood up, choked, cried and shared their molestation agony... and that too by whom? Step father, uncle, cousin brother, servant etc etc.

Now what really bothered me is that not many of these ladies could come out of these incidents even after many many years. That was still the most painful incident in their life. Somewhere it left an indelible scar in them.

Some ladies have become introvert, some girls have become eternally fearful, it had a deep impact in their personality. [This is my personal feeling... and I am definitely not an introvert!]

Even before I came to know of this, I was reading so many articles around this... Not that I was doing any research... Just every other day's newspaper carried such news.

When I was in my pre-final year of Engineering, someone asked 'what is your field of interest'. I remember I said, 'Fight Child molestation'. Few of the girls around me had a weird look at me... like 'What... Yuck' and by then they also knew I am kind of a girl to give such replies :))

From then on, I want to do something about it. The first thing that came to my mind was to educate parents, especially mothers on this topic.

What mothers can do about it.
1) Never leave your child alone with anyone(Day care centers and schools are exceptions. We got to trust them anyway)
2) Educate your kid - Good touch, Bad touch.
Someone touches their sensitive areas - Nay, it is a bad touch. Train them in such a way, the moment some thing like that happens, they report to you. You can train them like a play. Like while giving them a shower, tell them 'this is your private part... Only mom can touch for cleaning. If someone else touches, you will tell mom'

Child psychologists say 'Good touch, Bad touch' is an effective tool to protect them against this kind of an act. Atleast we will get a fore warning about such people, the first time when an attempt is made.

Good age to introduce this 'Good touch Bad touch' game is 3 years. This is applicable to toddlers of both sex.

Take care of your little precious one against this kind of barbaric act!

Finally please pass this message to as many people as possible.


Savitha said...

Hi Abi
I gotto say. You are really brave and it takes a lot of guts to even admit going through this kind of hurt. And to spread the awareness is just a noble deed.

Keep up the good work


Abi said...

Thanks Savitha...

I was waiting for the right forum to talk about this. Hope this article reaches as many people as possible.

And for some reason, I am not embarassed about what happened to me, perhaps I was too young and innocent then! :)

Lissy said...

My dear sister!

It´s hurting to hear what happened to are one of the most courageous women I ever met in my life...this is not easy to talk about...may this opening up be healing all your wounds forever!

I´m your co-worker on the topic...have always been aware of these things in my life around me, also know many adults and kids who were or are still victims...I´m trying to do my best here ...

Love you sis!

RV said...

It is so painful to know that the offenders are one among us. They could be from our family, friends or even neighbors. Here in U.S there is at least a law which helps to know the registered sex offenders in any county or city. Of course, we will not know if the black sheep is hiding among us:-( I hope every Mom gets to read this Abhi. I am gonna share your post with my friends.

PJ said...

Hi Abi,my first time here.This post shows how courageous you are in talking about a situation that most people wouldn't even hint at.Kudos to you.You are very right in telling that parents need to educate kids of both sexes.Great job!!! Gona share this in my blog and with my friends....

the blogger formerly known as sansmerci said...

i did my part n posted it on my fb page :)