Most new husbands I have seen are choked between their mother and wife. I had a casual conversation with my husband on this. While we were discussing about it, he made a comment, 'Any husband who loves his wife will do what is required for the situation. He will not sit through as the rift grows between the most two important ladies in his life'. I was actually shocked to hear this from him. Because it was quite blunt, second he puts the entire onus on the husband to strike a balance between mom and wife...
Now, as I think about it, I would say what he said is true... assuming you have good wife and good mother-in-law in your mother (mothers can never be bad, but mothers-in-law can be), if the husband does the mediator job properly, their marriage life can be very successful.
What if, they are not... some new brides are never understanding... they don't consider the MIL as their mother. Well, I also agree the feeling should be mutual. but c'mon someone has to start it...
and some MILs don't give the necessary time and space for the new girl to settle down. They don't realize the youngsters are having the most memorable time in their life. They are impatient and want to judge their daughter-in-law too soon, with their insurmountable expectations on her.
Oh yes, yes... there are plenty of reasons! If you watch any of the serials in Sun TV just one day, you will get to know... and if you watch it for a week, you may even commit suicide, beware of that channel!!
The message I am trying to convey is that husband plays a huge role in building the bridge between his bride and his family. If he is not interested in taking the right step, all three or the entire family's happiness is doomed. He should look through the situation or the problem with his maturity glasses and take the right action. Lots of tactfulness and diplomacy is required, in chiding or cajoling any party involved.
Ah... how easily said! But my dear gentlemen, give it a shot! :)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
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7 comments:
short yet right to d point..
Well said Abi.. and Raj is rite. As I married recently I faced lot of problem in settling down with my in-laws. When he missed to communicate between me and my In-laws, Ops It was horrible. I felt I have committed a big mistake by marring. It took time for me to understand each of them, But my first step was to make my husband to understand the things going around us. As you said none of the mother in-laws are giving time to the girl and she wants her should act from the very first day like our olden days tamil cinemas. But my MIL is sweet, and treated me very nice and I am so lucky in that case. But except MIL there are lot of people to create problem btw husband and wife (You missed them). Husbands should be responsible for every fight btw Mother ILs and wife ;-)
Abhi - it is better that you remove that word "beware of that channel" if the popularity of your article goes up, the TV channel might sue you for defaming act.. Otherwise Article is good
Swaroop.. Wonderful Observation
Thanks for the comments e'one...
Swaroop... Actually if such a defaming suit happens, there will scores of people fighting for my cause :))
@Valar: Yes, I completely missed that point. Even when the MIL is good, rest of the people, esp. the nathanars I have heard and seen giving trouble to the couple... But let me know even if such cases, husbands can play a huge supporting role to his wife...
It´s very easy to play the power role over someone who will never have the chance to bug out of the system of society...I think, MILs have to mature in this case, they have to accept that they don´t possess even their beloved sons... who wouldn´t want her/his son/daughter to live a most happy life...son and daughter in law have to be the same for a MIL...come on...take them right into your hearts first! Both are your children!
wel written abi, i think even if the dil and the mil are the sweetest persons on earth, if the husband doesnt communicate properly n creats a vacuum they can turn into what u cal the tamil-serial-style-family.. i m tryin to say the husband has the power to create such venom even thro his silence :)
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