New husbands!

Most new husbands I have seen are choked between their mother and wife. I had a casual conversation with my husband on this. While we were discussing about it, he made a comment, 'Any husband who loves his wife will do what is required for the situation. He will not sit through as the rift grows between the most two important ladies in his life'. I was actually shocked to hear this from him. Because it was quite blunt, second he puts the entire onus on the husband to strike a balance between mom and wife...

Now, as I think about it, I would say what he said is true... assuming you have good wife and good mother-in-law in your mother (mothers can never be bad, but mothers-in-law can be), if the husband does the mediator job properly, their marriage life can be very successful.

What if, they are not... some new brides are never understanding... they don't consider the MIL as their mother. Well, I also agree the feeling should be mutual. but c'mon someone has to start it...

and some MILs don't give the necessary time and space for the new girl to settle down. They don't realize the youngsters are having the most memorable time in their life. They are impatient and want to judge their daughter-in-law too soon, with their insurmountable expectations on her.

Oh yes, yes... there are plenty of reasons! If you watch any of the serials in Sun TV just one day, you will get to know... and if you watch it for a week, you may even commit suicide, beware of that channel!!

The message I am trying to convey is that husband plays a huge role in building the bridge between his bride and his family. If he is not interested in taking the right step, all three or the entire family's happiness is doomed. He should look through the situation or the problem with his maturity glasses and take the right action. Lots of tactfulness and diplomacy is required, in chiding or cajoling any party involved.

Ah... how easily said! But my dear gentlemen, give it a shot! :)

My husband slapped me!

I did it! It took 5 years and several months to happen. Finally he laid his hands on me. Hey wait...! This was for a big blow! Yes, he slapped me! It was not easy for either of us. It took several hours to reconcile. Atleast to talk to each other. On top of this, we visited his mom's place that night. Did that help or cause more trouble? Lets see... With not too much of sham we did, they found out something fishy was going on between us. So we were forced to get into terms faster. I too was not interested in making them(my parents-in-law) wonder or worry for a longer time. While everyone was contemplating what caused all this, the eldest soul in the family, his grandpa (he is like my own too), decided to get some story out from me. While I didn't let out the entire drama for there is nothing much to be said, profound advice started pouring in, from e'one there (except my in-laws) on what! how to keep him (my husband) happy!!! On any day, I wouldn't have taken it. For whatever reason, I stayed calm. I went ahead to convince them, 'we will be ok' (and we were after a while). We returned home after 2 days. On the way back, I simply commented, ' There is nothing wrong with them (grandpa and others there), just this society is fabricated that way... It is a male dominated society, you cannot expect much from it' Let me also tell you, my in-laws and family are the best one could get! The entire episode along with reconciliation happened very fast. The visit did help reduce the tension between us.

However the weekend is not over yet. Isha was not OK with her health. She kept falling sick and still is... That evening, she was so adamant on eating something which is not good for her health. I admonished her with a loud voice! That's it! She broke into big time tears and started saying with her weeping voice, 'Amma vendam' (I don't want mom). I heard her say that for the first time. I was always her favorite person, not anymore :( Somewhere I am turning to be stricter mother! Thus she added more to my weekend blues which finally got over.

Uff!! I am happy it got over... I despise such weekends, I am better off without such tormenting ones!!!

Oh Yes! We are ok and happily married for 5 years and 5 months now with a little princess :)