Good touch... Bad touch!

This article is going to be one, which can leave a bad taste in your mind, you may want to carry a disgusting look at me... But never mind, I am penning it down!

I thought I was the only girl in this country rather in this world, to be sexually exploited when I was around 7 years of age... And this was a long buried secret in me for a very long time. Later, slowly I came to understand my friend, friend's friend, my next door aunt, sister, kids were also affected like me.

About seven years back, I was in a group of more than five hundred women and we were asked to share their deepest secret, which bothered or hurt us the most. I thought people would come up with life loss, near and dear lives lost. I was shocked, terrified when more and more ladies of different ages stood up, choked, cried and shared their molestation agony... and that too by whom? Step father, uncle, cousin brother, servant etc etc.

Now what really bothered me is that not many of these ladies could come out of these incidents even after many many years. That was still the most painful incident in their life. Somewhere it left an indelible scar in them.

Some ladies have become introvert, some girls have become eternally fearful, it had a deep impact in their personality. [This is my personal feeling... and I am definitely not an introvert!]

Even before I came to know of this, I was reading so many articles around this... Not that I was doing any research... Just every other day's newspaper carried such news.

When I was in my pre-final year of Engineering, someone asked 'what is your field of interest'. I remember I said, 'Fight Child molestation'. Few of the girls around me had a weird look at me... like 'What... Yuck' and by then they also knew I am kind of a girl to give such replies :))

From then on, I want to do something about it. The first thing that came to my mind was to educate parents, especially mothers on this topic.

What mothers can do about it.
1) Never leave your child alone with anyone(Day care centers and schools are exceptions. We got to trust them anyway)
2) Educate your kid - Good touch, Bad touch.
Someone touches their sensitive areas - Nay, it is a bad touch. Train them in such a way, the moment some thing like that happens, they report to you. You can train them like a play. Like while giving them a shower, tell them 'this is your private part... Only mom can touch for cleaning. If someone else touches, you will tell mom'

Child psychologists say 'Good touch, Bad touch' is an effective tool to protect them against this kind of an act. Atleast we will get a fore warning about such people, the first time when an attempt is made.

Good age to introduce this 'Good touch Bad touch' game is 3 years. This is applicable to toddlers of both sex.

Take care of your little precious one against this kind of barbaric act!

Finally please pass this message to as many people as possible.

New husbands!

Most new husbands I have seen are choked between their mother and wife. I had a casual conversation with my husband on this. While we were discussing about it, he made a comment, 'Any husband who loves his wife will do what is required for the situation. He will not sit through as the rift grows between the most two important ladies in his life'. I was actually shocked to hear this from him. Because it was quite blunt, second he puts the entire onus on the husband to strike a balance between mom and wife...

Now, as I think about it, I would say what he said is true... assuming you have good wife and good mother-in-law in your mother (mothers can never be bad, but mothers-in-law can be), if the husband does the mediator job properly, their marriage life can be very successful.

What if, they are not... some new brides are never understanding... they don't consider the MIL as their mother. Well, I also agree the feeling should be mutual. but c'mon someone has to start it...

and some MILs don't give the necessary time and space for the new girl to settle down. They don't realize the youngsters are having the most memorable time in their life. They are impatient and want to judge their daughter-in-law too soon, with their insurmountable expectations on her.

Oh yes, yes... there are plenty of reasons! If you watch any of the serials in Sun TV just one day, you will get to know... and if you watch it for a week, you may even commit suicide, beware of that channel!!

The message I am trying to convey is that husband plays a huge role in building the bridge between his bride and his family. If he is not interested in taking the right step, all three or the entire family's happiness is doomed. He should look through the situation or the problem with his maturity glasses and take the right action. Lots of tactfulness and diplomacy is required, in chiding or cajoling any party involved.

Ah... how easily said! But my dear gentlemen, give it a shot! :)