Make a Move and Now!

Aggressive or Competitive or Complacent - which is better?

As I write this article, there is only one thing that comes to my mind - Being at peace with yourself! Nah... certainly this is some kind of gyan I am trying to sell to anyone!

Of late, I came across a lot of people, with different kinds of worries, problems - most of them work related. As I question more and more into their problems, I saw only one root - Comparison!

It is like 'Why not I get a mother-in-law like her?, 'Why not I get a manager like him', or 'my age - but earning twice as me', 'saree exactly of the same design and color would be awesome' There is nothing wrong with it! Absolutely nothing!

Even my 3 year old is like that. 'Mom, I want the same ear ring as yours ;-)' She feels mine is better!

Money, success, position, health, better balanced family life - I think we got to understand one comes at a cost of another... How mean is our society or nature or whatever is responsible? Why not everyone have everything? Well, it is a useless question and I call it so, because I don't have an answer! :P

Now coming back to Comparison - whomever we compare with, one may have say more money, but not health... another one may have position, but not money etc etc... Most of us comfortably ignore what it has taken for a person to get where they are!

Oh yes! I hear you 'I know all of this and more' For those impatient folks, here comes the conclusion - If you think you don't have something may it be a better job, role, career, health or personal life (sorry, I don't include better spouses here - got to live with them anyway, because they have become necessary evils in our lives - Again there are exceptions and I hope exceptions are in great number :) :)), just move your ASS!!!!!

I mean MAKE A MOVE! Look for a better healthy diet, exercise, talk to your manager for a better role, look for a job change, see how you can spend quality time with your family, - To act on whatever you see is missing in your life! ACT NOW!!

Is the problem solved? not really... "I also act on my shortcomings, but my peer or neighbour is also acting fast and he also progresses at the same pace!" "What to do now? When will I become he or she?"

I am not writing anymore... Well, if I read this to my little "logic" princess at home, she will say, 'Ma, don't compare ma! I have mine, they have theirs' :)

Good luck folks!

I am hungry - Its Madrasapattinam review!

Its been quite some time since my last article. Now I am hungry to write... but write on what?!

Well... It is about the movie I just watched - "Madrasa pattinam" ... I don't know the director of the movie until the end. When I saw the name in the movie poster while I was leaving the theatre, I said "Way to go Vijay!" Brilliant movie. Generally I keep myself away from writing any reviews. I never felt like writing about any movie... But this one was too tempting!

I have not seen many movies where audience wouldn't want to leave the theatre. But today I witnessed, the audience were glued to their seats and their eye balls pinned to the screen, even after the movie ended! Probably, Back ground music score mesmerised us!

Three classic scenes, worth talking about...

1) Paridhi was falling in love with Amy... But language was a barrier. He couldn't utter a word in English... So, he makes all attempts to learn it. Just to say a few sentences like What is your name? How are you?. "Ah! I have learnt, let me talk to 'Durai amma'..."
So, they both meet in the middle of a river... In a desperate moment, he forgets, tries to recollect in bits and pieces of what he learnt! Amy quietly watches his stutters and replies 'marandhittiya?' and steals the hearts of everyone!!! A beautiful melody song follows...

2) This scene left me with goose bumps. Aug 15 1947 midnight, Freedom fighters were hoisting the flag, with great joy and pride! The same feeling, great joy and relief kind of spread and filled in me :) What a great moment it should have been... After many many decades of fight and slavery, we got back our mother land.

For a moment, I was asking this question to myself - Hard earned freedom, what have we done to this nation? Have we made justice to this blood shed freedom?! Hmm...

3) Now the final scene... When Granny Amy finds Paridhi! The final words she spoke holding the 'thaali' in her palm closed, 'Its mine, mine!'
Awesome!! Awesome!! You should watch it!

Overall, a fantastic movie with a brilliant screenplay and script!

Hats off to Vijay, Arya and Amy team!!!

Performance review to a dad on Daddy's day

What's the buzz all about? I didn't understand a few years ago when I was in US doing my usual weekend shopping...
I saw many dad's with little ones at shopping marts... T-shirts written 'my dad is best', posters with 'dad and kid doing fishing', mugs, cards etc etc... What were they celebrating?

Daddy' day?!!! It didn't quite mean to me then!

Now a few years passed by after the little girl's arrival I saw more meaning in it than ever... So I was planning to celebrate it. To me, this day was more important than Diwali or Pongal where I just sleep off the day! I took the kids to the nearby park... They had a good time there... 'don't want rice' was ok today :) Fruits were served to them, gulfi ice cream was allowed (they get it e'day anyway when I am away at work :)) ) I ordered food from outside, I made the dish he likes it much and... I felt like saluting my dad! I made molagai bajji for my dad, lemon rice & boli for my husband... Two brilliant dads I know in great intimacy and without whom my life would have been different - am sure it wouldn't have been for the better...

3 years and no one round of performance review for chinnu's dad?! What a manager I am :))
Let's do it today :))

Performance review for Father of Isha Krupa:

Being a working dad, he managed his responsibilities very well and was able to juggle around the tasks given to him.

He quickly donned the role of dad as soon as the little one arrived. It took a while for him to understand what was going on. But he rendered all support required during the crucial time.

As the kid grow up, he played the role of 'good cop' while mom played 'bad cop' for giving food and medicines :) I think he did an excellent job there too.

He taught mom Ramayana and all linked stories, now that mom and kid are independent story tellers. While mom can spin new stories on the fly... Kid can recite Ramayana and Krishna story with all the character names well.. Remarkable achievement for all of us!

Participation in daughter's day today activities:

Bathing the child - On request
Brushing the teeth - when asked for and they both do it without hassles, where mom has to struggle for hours!
Feeding her - Almost every week night when mom not available. He has scaled up so much nowadays! He has learnt the knack after all :)
Doctor's appointment - always available and have not missed anything.
Birthday and b'day celebrations - Not as excited as the mom, but he gives due importance. He is not a person to care much about b'days, esp. mom's b'day ;-) but I think kid's day is important to him.
Time sharing - Excellent between Chess and kid!!! Chess has been his passion for the last 4 years. You may want to check out his ratings at chess.com! He's deemed to become a chess trainer one day!
Time management - Awesome!!!
Kissing - TOOOOO much :))
Hugging - much to the mom's jealousy!

Now the final verdict...Though he deserves a better rating, we can't have more than one "top" rater in one family. So we are forced to give 'Exceeded expectations most of the times'. Now who is the top rater - It is none other than the daughter herself. She takes the cake - 'Exceeded expectations all the times' :))

[Oops... Have I let the Corporate rating secret out??!!]

Anyways, when you go ask her 'do you want mom or dad', she says 'I want both of them'... She deserves it for all the things she does and doesn't ;-)!

Both mom and dad are ok with 3 (in a scale of 1 to 4, 4 being highest)!

Conversations with the little lady :)

Little Conversations with my kid

1))
We were in our usual night patrolling just before getting to bed, almost close to 12. We usually bid good night to all the 'bow wow!'s on the street and the lizards on the wall... So today, we saw a dead mouse ran over by a vehicle
Isha: Mom, What is this? Is it a horse? [the mouse was so out of shape, it appeared like a sea horse]
Mom: No Chinnu, it's mouse... Mouse was so mischievious, that it came so fast on the streets and was ran over by the car...
Isha: Is it? Poor thing [she was very concerned by now]
Mom: let us be more careful, let's go home...
Chinnu: Mom, I'll ask dad to apply medicine to the mouse and i will beat up the car. lets go to bed. i am feeling sleepy...

2))
Isha saw a black mole in my arm and below is our conversation around it

Isha: amma, what is it?
mom: oh, it is an insect bite [i didn't want start something new and handle a series of questions :)]
isha: was it painful?
mom: not really chinnu
isha: i will kiss the wound and then you will feel better [and then she bent down to kiss the mole]
is mom feeling ok now?
mom: yes, chinnu
isha: once i see the insect, i'll smash it.

3))
One afternoon, my aunt, one of her favourite persons other we both was sitting alone in the balcony, lost in thoughts...
Little lady started the conversation

isha: what are you doing here, nanny?
aunt: i am just sitting alone
isha: why are you alone?
aunt: i dont have anyone
isha: why so?? I am there for you right? then whats the problem!!!
come here...
aunt: whatever she was worried about vanished and she was so full of joy at the little one's words :)

4))
This conversation happened almost a year back and this was with her grandpa
They both were waiting in the bank counter

grandpa: isha, get me some money
isha: i dont have money grandpa
grandpa; ok, it is alright... go, ask mom
isha: [she was sitting on his lap... slightly stretched, peeked into my dad's pocket, saw the few rupee notes and then uttered]
see, you already have money right, then why are you asking me? [un kitta kaasu irukku illa, appram enna?]

And the list is endless... :)

I missed it by a whisker!

It was terrible to lose the opportunity by 0.5! I prepared it for almost 2 weeks ever since I came to know about it... Though I was part of the organizing team, I am supposed to undergo the examination before I could participate. You may not even believe, in the last week before the examination, I took all these as part of my diet

Drumstick in all forms (in Sambhar, poriyal etc)
Drumstick leaves - Greens - cooked gravy
Pomegranate
Papaya
Pretty much all types of fruits

I thought taking these will increase my count...

Finally the day arrived!

On the morning, I took a full meal again drumstick leaves sambhar. :))
I reached office. I motivated every one in my team to participate in this... However, they also need to qualify, else they will get rejected... (There is no wild card entry :)) )

I went to the spot along with my team... After checking my weight, age and other particulars they let me in. One of the persons there punched my finger, took a drop of blood. After a few moments, 'hers is 12'. The physician in front of me said, 'come after lunch' and wrote 'unfit' in my blood donation form...

Yes, I am talking Blood Donation camp arranged by my company with Lions Club. It is a very noble act... It is about saving life. So, I was very particular about donating. Knowing my health condition I thought I prepared well... But I lost it by 0.5. Had my heamoglobin count was 12.5 or more, I would have qualified.

When you lose, you can lose by a big margin. No issues. Getting very close to the winning mark and then losing is miserable...

Many of my team members whom I urged to give blood, qualified and they all donated blood... I was happy, atleast I could do that!

But the real bad part is my entire team teases me like 'Oh! she failed the test', 'She got rejected', 'Oh poor... She lost it' having seen my interest in this entire episode :))

Good touch... Bad touch!

This article is going to be one, which can leave a bad taste in your mind, you may want to carry a disgusting look at me... But never mind, I am penning it down!

I thought I was the only girl in this country rather in this world, to be sexually exploited when I was around 7 years of age... And this was a long buried secret in me for a very long time. Later, slowly I came to understand my friend, friend's friend, my next door aunt, sister, kids were also affected like me.

About seven years back, I was in a group of more than five hundred women and we were asked to share their deepest secret, which bothered or hurt us the most. I thought people would come up with life loss, near and dear lives lost. I was shocked, terrified when more and more ladies of different ages stood up, choked, cried and shared their molestation agony... and that too by whom? Step father, uncle, cousin brother, servant etc etc.

Now what really bothered me is that not many of these ladies could come out of these incidents even after many many years. That was still the most painful incident in their life. Somewhere it left an indelible scar in them.

Some ladies have become introvert, some girls have become eternally fearful, it had a deep impact in their personality. [This is my personal feeling... and I am definitely not an introvert!]

Even before I came to know of this, I was reading so many articles around this... Not that I was doing any research... Just every other day's newspaper carried such news.

When I was in my pre-final year of Engineering, someone asked 'what is your field of interest'. I remember I said, 'Fight Child molestation'. Few of the girls around me had a weird look at me... like 'What... Yuck' and by then they also knew I am kind of a girl to give such replies :))

From then on, I want to do something about it. The first thing that came to my mind was to educate parents, especially mothers on this topic.

What mothers can do about it.
1) Never leave your child alone with anyone(Day care centers and schools are exceptions. We got to trust them anyway)
2) Educate your kid - Good touch, Bad touch.
Someone touches their sensitive areas - Nay, it is a bad touch. Train them in such a way, the moment some thing like that happens, they report to you. You can train them like a play. Like while giving them a shower, tell them 'this is your private part... Only mom can touch for cleaning. If someone else touches, you will tell mom'

Child psychologists say 'Good touch, Bad touch' is an effective tool to protect them against this kind of an act. Atleast we will get a fore warning about such people, the first time when an attempt is made.

Good age to introduce this 'Good touch Bad touch' game is 3 years. This is applicable to toddlers of both sex.

Take care of your little precious one against this kind of barbaric act!

Finally please pass this message to as many people as possible.

New husbands!

Most new husbands I have seen are choked between their mother and wife. I had a casual conversation with my husband on this. While we were discussing about it, he made a comment, 'Any husband who loves his wife will do what is required for the situation. He will not sit through as the rift grows between the most two important ladies in his life'. I was actually shocked to hear this from him. Because it was quite blunt, second he puts the entire onus on the husband to strike a balance between mom and wife...

Now, as I think about it, I would say what he said is true... assuming you have good wife and good mother-in-law in your mother (mothers can never be bad, but mothers-in-law can be), if the husband does the mediator job properly, their marriage life can be very successful.

What if, they are not... some new brides are never understanding... they don't consider the MIL as their mother. Well, I also agree the feeling should be mutual. but c'mon someone has to start it...

and some MILs don't give the necessary time and space for the new girl to settle down. They don't realize the youngsters are having the most memorable time in their life. They are impatient and want to judge their daughter-in-law too soon, with their insurmountable expectations on her.

Oh yes, yes... there are plenty of reasons! If you watch any of the serials in Sun TV just one day, you will get to know... and if you watch it for a week, you may even commit suicide, beware of that channel!!

The message I am trying to convey is that husband plays a huge role in building the bridge between his bride and his family. If he is not interested in taking the right step, all three or the entire family's happiness is doomed. He should look through the situation or the problem with his maturity glasses and take the right action. Lots of tactfulness and diplomacy is required, in chiding or cajoling any party involved.

Ah... how easily said! But my dear gentlemen, give it a shot! :)

Fulfilling experience...

Do you remember the day you came to know that you are going to become a mom or dad? Have you savored each and every moment, the first time you held your child? Heaven isn't? I thought my life was made! It was definitely the most intense experience next to being with my Guru.

After being a mother, almost each day I underwent agony, when I see underprivileged children. It is even more agonizing to witness myself just being a passer by...

What am I doing to these children? I carry a heavy pay check home. But I know I live an unfulfilled life. I can't adopt all those children and provide food and shelter to my soul's satisfaction. Should I leave them like that because I didn't carry them in my womb. I want to do something, but.

What about providing food and education to a rural village girl? She has the will to learn, but doesn't have a school near by. She dreams of becoming a doctor, but her parents are struggling for the next meal. Majority of India's next generation only "dream" of a happy living...

How about participating in the democracy, enriching my nation's future generation with good health and sound mind?


I came to know of Isha Vidhya! I sponsor a child. Her name is Padmasree. Isha Vidhya takes care of her education and they provide healthy meals. I have been sponsoring her education for the last 2 years. Now she is in standard IV. I have seen her, she has written to me in that little hand writing... I was moved to know what a difference I have made in her. Ever since, I sponsored her education and meals, its like I adopted her virtually. I see her progress report every term. I write to her asking to concentrate on the subjects she should improve. It is a very wonderful relationship I share with that kid.

All I did is, I donated Rs.10000/year for her wellbeing. That's all it takes. I don't need to bother if she is doing her homework, if she is having her meals properly. Because, I know she is in the safe hands of Isha Vidhya. What else can I expect!

Isha Vidhya has constructed matriculation schools equivalent to a city school with computer facilities in remote villages. They have a very nominal fee structure. But most kids in that village couldn't afford even that. So, they have come up with a unique opportunity for every one of us to participate in rural village children's education. More than 60% of the pupils studying there are sponsored by people like me.

I request all the city folks, especially the ones who are in the lap of growing and blooming IT industry, to please sponsor a child. It only takes Rs. 10000, 200USD, 150 Euro. You may not realize until you sponsor and receive a letter from that little one thanking you for the help, what a new fulfilled experience it is. If you sponsor a child, please don't stop sponsoring midway. The kid has to look for another donor. Try to sponsor them until they reach their matriculation standard.

My sponsored child, Padmasree is now having good meals and education. She even aims to become a great professional and a super great human being! Because she is brought up in love and grace!

More details please visit http://ishavidhya.org